Confidence

You know I learned this not to long back. It's the fear of rejection. I guess it's easier to learn things the older you get. Yet they say you can't teach old dawgs new tricks. Anyhow, an older woman told me during a discussion about dating. Yes, I'm single and 50 and as most guys it has always been a low blow or an ego slap to be rejected when asking someone to dance or whatever it might be. I took her advice and turned toward my business ethics so to speak. She said, "Rejection is nothing to be afraid of. If someone rejects you, simply it’s a message that you do not want to be involved with that person anyway. That person actually saved you the problem of having to break up with them down the road so they weeded themselves out for you.

Using that analogy, it works in many ways with our business associations. I look at an interview as a sales call. If I am rejected, a sense of regret, a cold shoulder, I look at it as someone or a company I didn't want to associated with. If I approach someone to talk and if they turn away or has that attitude, well I can be diplomatic and friendly, but I don't have to do anything with them. If it's an association at work, l have to work with them not sleep with them. So I take the approach here is the information, I'm available to help, but if you don't want the help then it's their problem. Thick skin goes along way in business. I’m one that has to take control over that. I know myself and what I need to do under most circumstances.

Not everyone has the same personalities nor will all personalities click. Remember there are types A's and Type B's. Some need attention; some could care less about attention. Learn the personality traits and you might have whatever the problem is licked.

Also remember when you were a kid and you stood on stage in a play how hard it was to perform because mentally you knew 100 people was watching. Really, it's a mind over matter. That is why the bright light above and directly in front of you was there to blind you from those 100 people watching you. Now just smile and imagine no one is watching.

If you stop for a minute and realize what the purpose is you are doing whatever and block out what it is that bothers you, typically you can overcome many fears. Learn to block. It is like watching a football game; when the wife asks you to come empty the trash do you ever hear her? You do, but psychologically you don't because you've trained yourself to watch the game and nothing will interfere.

On a last note, despite what the fear is, performance, achievements, criticism, whatever, you do learn and maybe this is where you learn it as you get older since we’re always wanting to impress someone in our younger years. Don’t get me wrong we all even older people want to impress our boss but we take it with a grain of salt. As long as you give it your very best, you have done everything you possibly can within your power, stand-up and take note to yourself every time you stand in front of the mirror and say, I did my best, I’m proud of what I did and quit worrying what others say or think about you. You have to be happy with you. If you’re happy, the insecurities will eventually pass with time as you become more adept at being successful and when you do fall, pick yourself up, and learn from your mistakes knowing you know where the roadblock is and how to get around it.

In addition, one thing I’ve always carried with me from childhood that never gets old no matter how old you are is the ole saying of the little train that could…. The little train creeping up the hill thinking there is no way I can pull this load up that hill like the big trains can without slipping and going backwards… Keep saying to yourself I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, and eventually the little train started saying I know I can, I know I can, and when it’s all said and done you’ll stand straight and say to yourself I did it!