"You Can't Handle the Truth"

This blog is referencing people always asking why don't they get responses from hiring managers, recruiters, etc. whether it's a yes or no so they can moven on.

Have you ever run across this throughout your career, your dating life, your everyday living? People that say just tell me, "I can handle the truth".

Despite what people say off the cuff, I can honestly say from being a manager & on the dating circuit people cannot handle the truth. I know most will say oh you're full of bull Dennis. But realistically look at yourself & be truthful and ask yourself or go back & review past truths. As Jack Nicolson said,” You can't handle the truth”. Most of us from a psychological aspect say we can but it's our response that dictates if we can truly handle it. Dating a person and you want to break it off, what's the response, why, what did I do, I thought you liked me, what can I do to get you to like me- I'll be waiting for you when you get home with a surprise....you get the jest.

On the career circuit job hunting as stressful as it is; what response do you give or have you gave when someone tells you literally to your face, you didn't make the cut? You just weren't poised enough, your hair was grey, your tope was crooked, you used to many um's, a's, and you knows. They didn't like the watch or shoes you were wearing. Sure sounds trivial to most but what is our immediate response when backed into a corner? Why me, what did I do wrong, oh that company's an a**, oh Mr. recruiter you didn't work hard enough to get me in ... again you get the jest.

We ALL tend to get defensive or saddened and who takes the brunt of our responses but the one communicating the information to us. Imagine how a doctor feels coming out from an operation and telling the family members some bad news, he's gotta feel like c**p. In a lot of cases, not all; I'm sure the communicator feels just as bad because they have to listen to why you needed the job, and how little Johnny needs the operation and you don't have the money. Not to mention in such a sue happy world we live in can you simply imagine how many people would be in line to have an attorney just for someone saying "we didn't think they were yada yada .”

It makes sense to me although depressing and leaves you wondering what happened, where am I during the process to just let it go after a certain period of time you set for yourself.

Again I know you're thinking BS Dennis I can handle it, and maybe you can; one of the few the proud but you're just one person, look how many applicants are out there that aren't like you who can't handle the truth and make the whole entire effort counterproductive. Continued......

If people wouldn't be sue happy and complain about every little thing and able to “accept” <-keyword- that happens to them whether in rhetoric or real world experience; you stepped on my toe, the process could probably change.

I know this to be somewhat true from an example I'll use when having to lay someone off or fire them. Fortunately, I've learned when I've been laid off that it's strictly business & no one, absolutely no one is responsible for my future other than me. But to tell someone you're laying them off or firing them and screwing up their life is not pleasant task despite what they’ve done wrong. I literally experienced the latter of firing someone and had to contact the sheriff’s department to patrol the property for 2 weeks after me firing them. Sure they could handle the truth and the truth was in their vehicle, a 357 magnum. The person went loony. Sure recruiters maybe on the east coast and you on the west, but the analogy of truth is still a dilemma that can cause arguments or even stalking over the phone. A lot of people just won’t “let go” <- another keyword. The process won't change folks because we're all part of the process. We don't want to break bad news to anyone no more than others want to break it to us.

Of course this is simply just my opinions and my analogy and you know what opinions are like. I've gotten over the why they don't call syndrome and give them 3 days to 5days and move on still searching throughout those waiting periods just in case so I won't lose my momentum.

I know everyone who reads this can handle the truth, but for the moment, the system is stuck with the other 155 million that can't handle the truth! And that's my Psychology 101 class for today! :)

Leadership

I think personalities have a lot to do with Leadership. Type A personality is aggressive, doesn't need the social stimulation that a Type B requires, may be more extroverted, more assertive. Type B personalities, are more introverted, have the need to have a social stimulation, and is less assertive, and doesn't want to hurt people’s feelings so to speak, and has a need to be liked.

It's my opinion that doesn't mean Type B's can't be a good leader. As indicated, leaders aren't born; they're made at least that’s what statistics tell us. With leadership training and mentoring I think anyone can be a good leader. You also have to know if that's what you want to do. I don't think you should put someone in a leadership role knowing themselves they can't do it or want to do it. But then on the other hand there's those that you put into leadership roles that are too aggressive and goes over the edge.

I think leaders to some degree do entail a certain quality despite being taught. I think a true leader has confidence in themselves and what they are out to achieve. They're enthusiastic and have great character. Would you want a leader you can't trust? Look at the situations in our world today. People who thought they could lead only to take a back seat because others were leading them. So a good leader has to be trustworthy, and also tolerant but able to keep things under control. Good leaders also want to be successful and have a drive for excellence. Meaning a true leader doesn't associate leadership with the large dollars they walk away with. There's a certain feeling of achievement they obtained and enjoyed just by being successful in what they set out to accomplish. Not everyone has that feeling. Let’s take a look at ourselves for instance. When we have a honey do that has be taken care of. Some of us can do it and go on our way and not think twice about it. Some of us do it with a sense of accomplishment, achievement a feeling of success.

I believe to have a good balance between a good leader; you should possess some of the personality, the drive, and the ability to map your own course in leadership. I also think you need to know those you are leading. The need and what they require, when they require it and why they get or don’t get what they want.

If we take a look at the animal kingdom and how animals lead if you've ever seen national geographic for instance when a particular animal thinks they have the ability to lead they face off with the head of the pack and the strongest survives or beats out the opposition. I think one has to know in themselves if they or a leader of a follower.

Also intelligence is a key to leadership. You have to be able to think irrationally and quick in a lot of aspects and circumstances. Now this is not saying that a person with a lack of intelligence is not smart, keen or whatever you want to call it. It’s a matter of some people can act upon situations with no trouble at all, whereas some that are less stimulated by intelligence may not be able to cope or act upon the same particular situation and fall short of confidence, scared, less acceptance.

So I think it’s quite a debatable subject whether one is born or one is taught. I think there’s many attributes from both sides of the spectrum that contributes to a good leader.

It's in my opinion that anyone who is interesed in learning more about leadership, leadership roles and becoming an effective leader learn from the grandaddy of them all, the father of leadership, Peter Drucker himself. I think it should be required reading when you get to a leadership role.