"You Can't Handle the Truth"

This blog is referencing people always asking why don't they get responses from hiring managers, recruiters, etc. whether it's a yes or no so they can moven on.

Have you ever run across this throughout your career, your dating life, your everyday living? People that say just tell me, "I can handle the truth".

Despite what people say off the cuff, I can honestly say from being a manager & on the dating circuit people cannot handle the truth. I know most will say oh you're full of bull Dennis. But realistically look at yourself & be truthful and ask yourself or go back & review past truths. As Jack Nicolson said,” You can't handle the truth”. Most of us from a psychological aspect say we can but it's our response that dictates if we can truly handle it. Dating a person and you want to break it off, what's the response, why, what did I do, I thought you liked me, what can I do to get you to like me- I'll be waiting for you when you get home with a surprise....you get the jest.

On the career circuit job hunting as stressful as it is; what response do you give or have you gave when someone tells you literally to your face, you didn't make the cut? You just weren't poised enough, your hair was grey, your tope was crooked, you used to many um's, a's, and you knows. They didn't like the watch or shoes you were wearing. Sure sounds trivial to most but what is our immediate response when backed into a corner? Why me, what did I do wrong, oh that company's an a**, oh Mr. recruiter you didn't work hard enough to get me in ... again you get the jest.

We ALL tend to get defensive or saddened and who takes the brunt of our responses but the one communicating the information to us. Imagine how a doctor feels coming out from an operation and telling the family members some bad news, he's gotta feel like c**p. In a lot of cases, not all; I'm sure the communicator feels just as bad because they have to listen to why you needed the job, and how little Johnny needs the operation and you don't have the money. Not to mention in such a sue happy world we live in can you simply imagine how many people would be in line to have an attorney just for someone saying "we didn't think they were yada yada .”

It makes sense to me although depressing and leaves you wondering what happened, where am I during the process to just let it go after a certain period of time you set for yourself.

Again I know you're thinking BS Dennis I can handle it, and maybe you can; one of the few the proud but you're just one person, look how many applicants are out there that aren't like you who can't handle the truth and make the whole entire effort counterproductive. Continued......

If people wouldn't be sue happy and complain about every little thing and able to “accept” <-keyword- that happens to them whether in rhetoric or real world experience; you stepped on my toe, the process could probably change.

I know this to be somewhat true from an example I'll use when having to lay someone off or fire them. Fortunately, I've learned when I've been laid off that it's strictly business & no one, absolutely no one is responsible for my future other than me. But to tell someone you're laying them off or firing them and screwing up their life is not pleasant task despite what they’ve done wrong. I literally experienced the latter of firing someone and had to contact the sheriff’s department to patrol the property for 2 weeks after me firing them. Sure they could handle the truth and the truth was in their vehicle, a 357 magnum. The person went loony. Sure recruiters maybe on the east coast and you on the west, but the analogy of truth is still a dilemma that can cause arguments or even stalking over the phone. A lot of people just won’t “let go” <- another keyword. The process won't change folks because we're all part of the process. We don't want to break bad news to anyone no more than others want to break it to us.

Of course this is simply just my opinions and my analogy and you know what opinions are like. I've gotten over the why they don't call syndrome and give them 3 days to 5days and move on still searching throughout those waiting periods just in case so I won't lose my momentum.

I know everyone who reads this can handle the truth, but for the moment, the system is stuck with the other 155 million that can't handle the truth! And that's my Psychology 101 class for today! :)

Leadership

I think personalities have a lot to do with Leadership. Type A personality is aggressive, doesn't need the social stimulation that a Type B requires, may be more extroverted, more assertive. Type B personalities, are more introverted, have the need to have a social stimulation, and is less assertive, and doesn't want to hurt people’s feelings so to speak, and has a need to be liked.

It's my opinion that doesn't mean Type B's can't be a good leader. As indicated, leaders aren't born; they're made at least that’s what statistics tell us. With leadership training and mentoring I think anyone can be a good leader. You also have to know if that's what you want to do. I don't think you should put someone in a leadership role knowing themselves they can't do it or want to do it. But then on the other hand there's those that you put into leadership roles that are too aggressive and goes over the edge.

I think leaders to some degree do entail a certain quality despite being taught. I think a true leader has confidence in themselves and what they are out to achieve. They're enthusiastic and have great character. Would you want a leader you can't trust? Look at the situations in our world today. People who thought they could lead only to take a back seat because others were leading them. So a good leader has to be trustworthy, and also tolerant but able to keep things under control. Good leaders also want to be successful and have a drive for excellence. Meaning a true leader doesn't associate leadership with the large dollars they walk away with. There's a certain feeling of achievement they obtained and enjoyed just by being successful in what they set out to accomplish. Not everyone has that feeling. Let’s take a look at ourselves for instance. When we have a honey do that has be taken care of. Some of us can do it and go on our way and not think twice about it. Some of us do it with a sense of accomplishment, achievement a feeling of success.

I believe to have a good balance between a good leader; you should possess some of the personality, the drive, and the ability to map your own course in leadership. I also think you need to know those you are leading. The need and what they require, when they require it and why they get or don’t get what they want.

If we take a look at the animal kingdom and how animals lead if you've ever seen national geographic for instance when a particular animal thinks they have the ability to lead they face off with the head of the pack and the strongest survives or beats out the opposition. I think one has to know in themselves if they or a leader of a follower.

Also intelligence is a key to leadership. You have to be able to think irrationally and quick in a lot of aspects and circumstances. Now this is not saying that a person with a lack of intelligence is not smart, keen or whatever you want to call it. It’s a matter of some people can act upon situations with no trouble at all, whereas some that are less stimulated by intelligence may not be able to cope or act upon the same particular situation and fall short of confidence, scared, less acceptance.

So I think it’s quite a debatable subject whether one is born or one is taught. I think there’s many attributes from both sides of the spectrum that contributes to a good leader.

It's in my opinion that anyone who is interesed in learning more about leadership, leadership roles and becoming an effective leader learn from the grandaddy of them all, the father of leadership, Peter Drucker himself. I think it should be required reading when you get to a leadership role.

Your Loss

During the previous post that I wrote I received a commentary from a respected recruiter touch base with me and gave me some insite into his day. I was quite taken by it and respected his reply.

My points that I made from the previous post was simply points made from my point of view but definitely had no meaning of showing disrespect for the field of discussion. And by no means was it meant to lash out at any particular person or their trade. I have no doubt as in any professional career recuiters do have their downsides, things that create bottleneck, areas that causes problems, etc. I appreciate the caos that was explained and would never challenge anyone in such a profession.

After reading his forum toward a recent posting he place to attract candidates he indicated that during this posting he recieved 72 applicants that applied in which they all thought they were qualified. After reviewing comments I wanted to make sure I wasn't misinterpreting people but that I didn't think people were complaining about themselves sending off CV's and getting no reply. I believed it's when hopes are built up by those that pose as the ultimate professional and call potential candidates, set appts with potential, list fake jobs to build their databases, don't know exactly the lingo to discuss the job they're representing and now have a list of people they're trying to shortlist and yet those people they've called get no response. I think that's what gives the position a bad name. You've made connection, you discussed the possibilities, you've offered to submit, but there's no follow-through. People are waiting in limbo, why did they call me, what can I expect, should I move on, take the next job that's being offered and if this person calls back tell them "sorry but no thanks"? Then ultimately the shoe is on the other foot, you're aggreviated, went through all that to hear "sorry but no thanks, couldn't sit around waiting, moved on".

Personnally which I might have never stated, I don't wait around for anyone to fulfill my destiny. I do think a lot of job seekers depend way to much on others to fulfill their needs and accept the lazy attitude of if they want me they'll call me. I've felt that way many a mornings I've woke. If I send something in or get a call, I talk to the individual or reply to their emails, etc. as requested. I give myself a set time frame for a response. If I get no response that's fine and dandy with me. My time is just as valuable. Just as jobseekers don't pay the recruiter, recuiters don't put food on my table and pay my bills so I have to keep business going by continuing my search. And we all know it's a full time job searching. There's always a disappointment and a wonder why, but I don't expect anyone to owe me anything. I take my lumbs, and simply think, "your loss" haha and move on. I keep looking and searching if one of those comes around that calls me I worry about it when the time comes.

Professionalism

During a discussion I received comments on never ignore recruiters and how job-seekers should screen them just as they screen job-seekers. This may be true in some aspects but it's simple to say most people who are in a professional job as a professional does their work professionally meaning you put your faith in professionals to steer you in the right direction during initial contact. We contine talking about communication.

People put their faith in professionals and look for what one could call guidance. What do I do now that I've been contacted, interviewed by phone, and even face to face, do I sit and wait, continue my search, etc. Imagine for a moment if you were a CEO of a professional firm and a client of yours calls you with information or a suggestion about something that could benefit you or your company whether they are a high money client or simply one you've been trying to lock into for a while. Do you as a CEO simply ignore them because they're one of 100 clients so they're no more valuable than any of the other 99? That one client can make you or break you and might be sitting there waiting to see what you're going to do before before giving you their business rocketing you to the place you've always dreamed of being. Wouldn't you have your EA contact them and make an arrangement to be back in touch with them at some point? Maybe by letter, phone, email or any other medium that surfices. It's simply called, integrity, character, professionalism.

The statement about job-seekers should screen recruiters as they screen you. That's not always possible when they're calling you making you the offer. What do you tell them, give me information on you before this goes any farther? If I like what I hear, I'll do a background check on you and if everything is in order you can call me back in a week to further continue with this phone interview or face to face. I don't think it works that way. As professional job-seekers looking to move toward the next career above unemployment job-seekers are left at the mercy of what would appear and thought of as professionals. They are getting paid to be professionals. Job-seekers are the end product. Do you walk in a department store and pick something up and drop it and break it and walk off and not say anything about it? If you have integrity, and character you follow through and you take your lumps and step up and say oh I dropped it and broke it. You don't sweep things under the rug for convenience or because you are simply to busy hoping no one bothers you.

As disgusting as the job interview I went on earlier in the week and by all means I should have stated to the interviewee that he was simply off his rocker if he thought I would work for what he offered. Being a professional person that I am I thought about everything and took the time to reply to him and state I thanked him for his time and consideration but at this time I didn't feel I was a good fit for what he was offering. It never hurts to make connections and leave connections with your a professional image of ones self. Besides I have integrity, I have character and yes I'm busy also as my time is quite valuable to me, but who knows one day in the distant future I may happen upon this person and they might be my treasures I've been hoping to find. If not what did I actually lose?

Donald Trump Jr. and Cambridge Who's Who

http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/donald-trump-jr-joins-cambridge-whos-who-as-executive-director-of-global-branding-and-networking-90793174.html

Job-Seeker Anonymous-Has It Turned to Nothing More Than Gambling?

What suggestions can be offered toward looking for a job/career if you're being contacted as a perfect fit but find out by no fault of your own(as a job seeker) that you didn't make the cut or rather continue to never get feedback/communication.

Let me iterate a bit.Let's say you are working with a couple of pro recruiters, or you contact certain HR's, etc.Either way the ones you are working with or ones that happen to contact you; they say "you're just what we're looking for" but you can't find out anything more than, we want to talk to you, you're contacted,some gibberish over the phone,maybe even an interview, you find out nothing and each & every time an instance like this occurs you feel like you're nothing more than a donkey that's being pulled without a rope just to see how far you can be pulled. So, you find new people to work with, the same results. But everyone continues to say "but there's jobs out there, don't let these type results hold you back". If you're always told "you're what we're looking for" but never seem to be the one they want, what might be some ideas to people so they'll quit feeling like a "donkey". Pondering thoughts I think.

I'm a guy that tries to view things from outside the box looking in. I can respect both sides perspective and aggravation,but when you continue to try everything you're told to try, you've spent dollars upon dollars for resume updates, skilled interview transactions, money to interviews, you appear to have the qualifications as stated; no matter what you seem to try you get kicked to the curb; & you're unemployed, & no money coming in; just how much should a person endure?

What exactly is the perfect person that employers are looking for.In that aspect since recruiters represent the employer since they're being paid, it appears to me that there's a lot of donkey's being pulled without ropes, professionals, lay workers,etc. A professional can not get a lay mans(Skilled labor, hourly salary) because they're just to over qualified & employers know one day they'll want to move on so forget being hired or even trying to start over. The professional can't get the professional jobs they apply for because they don't meet the qualifications although they're led to believe they do meet the qualifications. What exactly is the perfect fit? Does each line item that is being requested by the employer/recruiter have to be listed on a person's resume in order to be considered or is there an itty bitty bit of common sense in the playing that says this person has 5 of the top skills this employer wants and the other 2 can easily be acquired?

Everyone has seen it during their years in the working force. People didn't get their experiences from just book knowledge. They learned it on the job. I understand employers don't want to spend training dollars to train someone, but face it, there is no perfect person. Scientist, Doctors, even The President of the United States, are lacking something & is not perfect & will not be the perfect person for everything within a job posting. They will still have to be trained at some point to be efficient in that job/company or typically all the company is getting is a photo copy of the previous employer. The idea is to mold someone to be the culture of the company they are coming to work for not bring habits in from the previous company they worked for. If this isn't true and the perfect person has to reflect being the Holy Grail then there will always be nothing more than a bunch of unemployed people with a world of knowledge that keeps wishing to get feedback & the issues of getting the job force back working will never exist again & everyone will just become do- nothing-ers,and cost the economy even more dollars and put a larger burden on society creating more tax dollars that those are employed will be forced to pay.

Let's face it, commercial after commercial tells you that education is the key to becoming noticed. Upgrade your skills. Resume Companies pump advice like it's dollars being thrown out a window. Recruiters constantly updating their databases and calling people with fictitious jobs or posting fictitious jobs. The average person has become nothing more than a gambler in the job force. Some time in the future we'll probably start seeing billboards that reflect "Are you a career job-seeker with all the relevant requirements to get hired but find yourself hooked? You need Job-Seeker Anonymous. Admittance is the first sign to addiction and getting help. Call today for help. There's millions like you out there and there's people that want to help you"; if you have any money saved that is!

There's just so many spots under the interstate for people to live. How do you become the perfect fit that enables you to become a contributing member of society or end up a collector and contributor to the deficit? How much does a person have to endure to become noticed and quit being a donkey that's pulled without a rope just to see how far you can be pulled?

Does Being Frustrated or Aggravated on a Post Show a Lack of Professionalism?

Should aggravation and frustration reflect in post venues on how people really feel toward job-seeking and how they're being treated by asking for communication or should it be stifled and kept quiet since prospective employers and recruiters may use the information in judging people?

I would hope and I know it's not always so, that any potential employer just as any potential good recruiter doesn't take the frustration and aggravation that people impose on a discussion as nothing more than what it is. As I've stated in previous posts with all due respect to all those already employed feeding there families, paying their bills; I don't think anything anyone speaks or spoke about is meant directly, but how business is handled.

As a potential interviewee, a potential customer/client in future associations I would think that companies and recruiters would take their jobs quite professional and actually use threads to help them gain the trust of people/customers for use down the road. Particularly a discussion like some threads would be a map for "how do we do business" and "let's focus on being as professional as we can by using this information to make us better or make our company tops amongst the rest" Surveys are sent out by top companies from around the world asking "How are we doing". Well understanding what's being asked, then a thread should say a lot about "How are we doing" and not directly take it out against the people posting the unhappiness.

People are hungry, want to work and as a professional to a professional (companies, recruiters, etc) people want to be treated as professionals and not as cattle. That's not to much to ask. If in short the least people could be told during an initial conversation/interview/contact "Mr Doe, I apologize if you don't hear from me, but because of the present economic downturn our/my office has been completely backlogged so we're unable to answer everyone directly with information about where they stand on this position I'm interviewing you for, but understand that if you are qualified as the next step up toward this position, I will be in contact with you". You're interviewing/ talking to the person anyway, why can't something be respectably stated and the tone toward this particular group may subside knowing that people are now aware and won't be sitting around waiting.

If all the data that fills everyone's mailbox everyday states, follow-up, be persistence, don't you believe these professional societies and/or companies as professionals should show a slight bit of consideration towards professionals, other than a cold shoulder or quit asking for recommendations toward people who might know someone and quit filling mailboxes with bogus information that doesn't work or no one has intention on using?

I'm sure these people including myself on these threads don't want to see anyone fail or fall short of being jobless meaning recruiters also. In turn that's all people are speaking about is a little professionalism from those that have the ability in the positions they are in to show how professional they truly are and show a little compassion.

In concluding, I truly hope whomever reads these threads from the people they are/have interviewed shows a little professionalism and stops and realizes "I'm dealing with a professional and I can understand the frustrations that has built up over time and how much this person I'm interviewing or have interviewed really wants to work and bring his/her professionalism on board".